H ere we are at energy base three, the Mental Energy base. If you missed insight into raising your physical and emotional bases, be sure to revisit the last two editions of Healthy Mama Magazine…
The mental base is energized when we are mentally challenged and stimulated, rewarded and included, and feel safe and supported. When we are surrounded within a positive environment, this mental energy source can be boosted. Significantly
As a mama, you may have experienced the shift that naturally occurred as you moved from a masculine working environment into the feminine role of the carer and nurturer. Sometimes this very simple and natural shift can create unease in life and if you have felt it, breathe, you are a whole person experiencing a range of feelings at this time.
Many new mothers have spent years entrenched in a purpose driven, goal and achievement orientated environment that rewarded them for their productivity and contribution. The transition into the new and very different role of mothering can be one of the greatest challenges of motherhood. A sense of loss-of-self is very common. This loss can affect the mental base and relationship with self and others.
This transition requires self-care and kindness, and a very high awareness of things that bring natural happiness into our everyday. Here are a few tips to help you to connect to your changed role so that you can reduce the risk of addictive and materialistic pleasure filling the void.
ENVIRONMENT
Create a pleasant environment. Yes, amongst the dirty nappies, nagging and brush and shovel, create a haven for your mind. Some soothing music, perhaps lighting a candle or some aromatherapy essential oils. Let the natural light in, open the doors and windows if you can, unplug the daytime TV or kids incessant shows.
Show up in your conversations at home with kindness and presence. Show up the way in which you want to be treated and remembered. The home is typically the Mother’s zone, and you have the ability to create a positive environment.
PRODUCTIVITY
Your mental energy base is encouraged through a feeling of productivity and achievement.
Make a list of all the mundane tasks that need completing in your everyday, and aim to complete them first. Your mind will then be free to move to more stimulating tasks. Note: we are very good at seeing what we have not completed, be sure to try your best to acknowledge what you have!
GROWTH
Personal growth is one area most mothers highlight as stagnant during early motherhood.
It is common for conflict to arise between husband and wife as one seemingly misses out on learning and development. It needn’t be so!
We are blessed to live in a world with access to incredible personal growth books, podcasts and programs which can enlarge almost any area we choose. Is there a more perfect time to love yourself, than when you are at home caring for those wide eyed and open eared children?
STILLNESS
With young children it may seem impossible to create a stillness practice or to meditate for 20 minutes a day. It can be helpful to change your approach to something more achievable such as 5 minutes at three different intervals during the day. Retreat to a quiet room or place headphones in if you need to watch. Take 5 minutes to breathe deeply and think of 3 things you are grateful for in this moment.
STRENGTHS
We all have unique strengths and abilities and by working closely within our strengths, we can expand this mental base. Very often our strengths are found in the face of adversity but are not very often well recognised. This is why it is important to allow our children the opportunity to fail, face challenges and feel loss. By sheltering them from these experiences, we block their growth and disconnect with their strengths, and we set them up for a much larger fall because they have not learnt the coping mechanisms and their personal strengths. It is also the reason we should choose to view our own challenges and adversity as something to learn from rather than lean on.
THE SLIGHT EDGE
Most mothers understand that feeling of tiredness and lack of motivation. As I leave you to ponder your mental base, I will leave you with one last reflection. One of the most dangerous pitfalls of motherhood surrounds slight edge decisions. In one of my favourite books ‘The Slight Edge’, Jeff Olson explains that a slight edge decision is one that is
‘easy to do. And it’s easy not to do. And if you don’t do it, it won’t kill you or destroy your chances of
success today. But that simple error in judgment can compound over time…And that choice is always yours.’
Always remember that those slight edge decisions to grab mini-moments of stillness every day, to create a positive environment, to learn one new thing a day, to achieve what needs to be achieved no matter how mundane it may seem, and to celebrate what has been achieved will keep your mental base filled while you move through your new role of motherhood.
Read more about Next Generation Wellness: The Mental Base by Erin Barnes in the latest edition of Healthy Mama Magazine. Click below to subscribe to our NEW DOUBLE-SIZED editions…x
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